I know for a fact that my boyfriend is VERY polite and has many chivalrous characteristics. On the other hand, he hasn’t recently thrown pebbles at my window, screaming Shakesphere at the top of
his lungs. Ha ha. That would be slightly humerous. I wouldn’t put it past him.
No no…The chivalry that I’m talking about, is the kind of gestures we see in old romantic, sappy movies. When he opens the door for you, or gives you his jacket even when you feel a slight chill. Yes ladies, these guys are still out there believe it or not. Guys- BELIEVE it or not- manners go a L O N G WAY!
According to my brother: “…Chivalry is DEAD- and Women killed it! Only good looking skinny girls deserve it…” GREAT!!!! Thanks Z&$#! “A girl has to qualify…” WHAT!-
OK…Let’s help him out here a little bit…I made him look like an A$$! For the record, he was born in 1990, so his opinion shouldn’t count that much. Sorry- he was the only male in my house at the time. (I’m visiting my family for the holiday!)
Back to the topic at hand. Chivalry is in fact disapeering. Years ago, being polite was a given…I’m assuming… But it isn’t practiced. Ladies, act like ladies…and I’m sure you will be treated like one.
I hope it isn’t. You might enjoy this:
http://caughtinthemiddleman.wordpress.com/2007/07/20/the-times-they-are-a-changin-part-4/
LoL
Agreed. Chivalry aside, manners themselves are even fading away. I posted on my blog in the beginning about manners. It’s like noone has manners these days, even people who are older than me. So if plain old manners are dying out then definitely chivalry is not far behind.
I definitely think that manners are important with anyone, especially a boyfriend. Giving your coat up when it is cold is a nice thing to do, especially since girls are usually colder than guys, but I just don’t understand the opening the door thing. I’m not saying that I don’t appreciate the gesture, but it kind of makes me feel lesser or incapable of getting the door for myself. I think it is especially stupid for a guy to run around the car just to open the door for a girl who’s hand is right next to the handle. I don’t know if this is just me, but I don’t know what it is about it haha
So maybe in some ways it is good that chivalry is disapearing, but the boys still need to treat the ladies like their girlfriend and not one of their buddies.
I feel like chivalry hasn’t died, but it has taken, or needs to take a new form. I think things like holding open the door are great, but why can’t I as a female do it for my boyfriend once in a while too? I think chivalry in the 21st century has to be mutual between a couple. You have to give a little to get a little, right? I think women have come a long way to get where they are, and I don’t necessarily want a guy who will wait on me and do things because he thinks he is supposed to. I want a guy that does things because they feel right, but I also want a guy who will let me do the same back to him. 21st century chivalry!
I think chivalry exists in certain rare males. I am lucky enough to have found one of those rare gems. I can’t say that he is always a perfect gentleman (he still feels the need to do those stupid boys things at times) but he does do the important stuff. He wears a jacket even when he is warm and doesn’t need one because he knows my body is incapable of holding in heat in the winter and he wants to have it in case I need it. I am a very independent person and he understands that. It really is a delicate balance that needs to be reached. I have dated guys that were nauseatingly sweet and made me feel like I was incapable of doing anything for myself, and others that have been complete asses with no manners what-so-ever. Guys: Treat a girl with respect. Do some sweet things for her, but don’t act like she can’t open a door by herself. If you get there first, open it for her. If not, let her do it herself. Like Kayla said, it’s give and take.
This is a great post Case! I think all men would benefit in the long run if they were a bit more chivalrous. I can’t say I haven’t met some men who still are (which is encouraging) but I haven’t found my prince yet. I agree with the other girls when they say chivalry needs to find a more modern form, because sometimes its a little too much when they wait on your every need. Hopefully the ones who still have some chivalrous qualities left in them will spread it on to their friends.
I really like this topic. We talked about this at length one day in my Intercultural Communication class. I don’t think chivalry is dead, but I also don’t think that men need to bend over backwards for women all the time. I’m a feminist but I do like to be treated like a lady on date. Maybe that makes me a bad feminist, but eh. I don’t expect him to pull out my chair but giving me his coat or walking me home or opening the car door is nice. I don’t really expect it from strangers though. I think being polite should be something both sexes act on. I always hold the door for people, am really polite to people at stores and strangers. I know when I am at work, I always feel extra good when a customer is nice to me, regardless of what sex.
I agree with Lisa. Being polite is an obvious must but I don’t want to be treated like I need/have to be so dependent on someone else that I can’t even open a door! Again, like Lisa said the gesture is nice but I don’t need it. I am an extremely independent person but it is still nice for a boyfriend to do things for you. I don’t think it should be done because its the “right” thing to do but I think the idea of Chivalry now days is a way of showing you care for your girlfriend. I think it lets her know you can count on him to be there when she needs him.
Thanks everyone for commenting- Kayla makes a great point. Chivalry does need to take a new form. As we adapt- so should chivalry. I know so many girls like the bad boys, but the truth is deep down-she wants a man she can bring home to mom and dad. Maybe they should teach a section of manners in Home and Careers class in middle school. I think recently we talked in class about the correlation between catholic school vs. public school and how these students value their parents. It seemed to me that most children who went to catholic school truly respected their parents more.- Interesting.